Note:
This is a short opinion article reflecting on the systemic pressures faced by women in India, which sometimes end brutally, even in death.

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Last week, a 17-year-old NEET aspirant was beaten to death by her father in Maharashtra, just for scoring low on a mock test.

This week, a 27-year-old woman in Tamil Nadu died by suicide after relentless dowry harassment.

Just two months ago, on her wedding day, her family had given a luxury car worth ₹70 lakh and 300 sovereigns of gold as dowry. She had told her parents what she was going through, but got the same response: "Let some days pass. Things will get better."

These are the same brilliant girls we celebrate in board results. The ones who top Class 10 and 12 exams and make headlines for “outperforming boys.”

So what happens after that? Where do they disappear?

She was only 17. But all she was ever taught was how to excel academically, because learning to excel at life was never meant for her. Her marks were the only benchmark. Every mark wasn’t to gain knowledge. It was a test of her worth. She was not a daughter. She was a report card. A trophy.

We praise girls when they top exams. We proudly share their certificates, their marksheets, their medals. But the moment they want to live freely, choose their own paths, say no, or move differently, the applause goes silent.

The real world suddenly becomes hard and dangerous for girls, especially after school and college. So shrinking their dreams and ambitions, right on time, starts to feel like the safest option. Because maybe they were never really as important.

The transition is ingrained deeply but manifests later.

From marks-oriented to marriage-oriented. From career-focused to family-approved.

The girl who once dreamed of becoming a teacher, lawyer, or writer now thinks of in-laws' approval for everything. The one who was opinionated now seeks permission for everything. Intelligence doesn't vanish. But meekness and approval become the only identity.

The 27-year-old had told her parents, not because she forgot to adjust or endure, but because even endurance has a limit.

One girl died because of just one academic performance, in a mock test, not even the final exam. And even if it was, that would not have been the end of her life. But that one mock test, meant for preparation and learning, cost her her life.

The other one got married. Dowry was given. And she faced such a tragic end.

But how can marriage still be considered a safety net after seeing so many cases of abuse? If the world is supposedly too dangerous for girls, how are parents suddenly assured she will be happy with a stranger in an arranged marriage?

Why are women forced into marriages right after hearing such heinous incidents? Why does marriage still seem safer than independence? Why does the world suddenly stop being dangerous when it comes to arranged marriage and marrying her off to a complete stranger?

The same world that was too unsafe for her independence suddenly becomes safe, simply because she is now someone’s wife.

There is a rise in women entering the workforce. But there are so many girls who excel in school and college and still remain meek in life.

These deaths are the results of always tying them with labels of every sort, but never just a woman, and never a human being.

The 27-year-old died apologizing to her father for taking this step, because guilt was one of her identity markers till her death.

Image Credit: Subhro Vision on Unsplash